The Christian Mother's Charge

Aside from the obvious needs of food, shelter, love, and education, what do our children need? Mothering includes more when we proclaim Christ as our salvation. I would emphasize three additional responsibilities for Christian mothers: prayer for our children and prayer with them, instilling and exemplifying the awe of God, and finally, being a Christ-like example. This is not an exhaustive list but acts as a starting point to focus on sharing the joy of Christ with our children and raising them to be lights in this world. John was writing to the believing church he mentored when he said this, but it applies to our literal children as well:

3 John 1:4 → I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.

This can become our first and foremost prayer for our children. That they may believe and be saved, to walk in the truth. When I was a child, in most of the prayers my mother prayed with me, she would say the same thing, predictably and consistently. She would pray against sickness, injury, disease, anxiety and depression. And in the prayers of hers that I didn’t hear, but came to know later, she prayed for our salvation. That we might have holiness, identity in Christ and even salvation in the future generations. How powerful to know that my children were being petitioned for long before their conception. The other major memory of my childhood prayers was incorporating the fruits of the spirit found in Galatians 5. It was probably the first memory verse that stuck with me through to adulthood. We thanked God for the fruits of the spirit in general, praising Him for creating them, but looking back we were also instilling their divine importance in our lives. We learned that these things are valuable and something to cherish. 

Galatians 5:22-23 → But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

If you don’t already I would urge you to pray for your children. Pray for everything you wish for them, and against everything you desire to keep them from. Petition for their salvation, that they might grow up in the way of truth, to serve God and love Him. Pray for the salvation and sanctification of their future spouses. Pray against the things of this world, the temptations that trap many of our young people. Jesus preaches how the Lord will grant us what we ask if we abide in Him. This is not meant to give us power. If we abide in Christ our will will align with His. Therefore, we will only desire the things that Christ desires and if our prayers align with the heart of God He will fulfill it. 

John 15:7, 16 →  If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you …whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you.

In addition to praying for our children when we are alone, we must also pray with them, starting from a very young age. They learn by example and value the things they see us value. By praying with our kids we show them the value in knowing God. We must exemplify a precious relationship with Him. We are commanded many times to pray, to rejoice, to be filled with thanksgiving, to present our requests to God. Our answered prayers exemplify God’s power to our kids and they experience great joy when a prayer request is answered and becomes an item to praise. 

Philippians 4:6 →  … in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 

James 5:16 → … The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 →  Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

Colossians 4:2 →  Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving.

Instilling the awe of God in our children is essential in a world where everything is marketed based on selfishness and pride. Before they become brainwashed with the idea that they can do whatever they want to do despite the consequences, they must know their Creator and His will for them. God is all powerful, majestic, merciful, just, awesome, wonderful and mighty, to name a few. By teaching them who God is, we set up the foundation for teaching our children the gospel. God is infinitely more than us humans in every way. His mercy has delivered us from our sin. We now desire to be like Christ and praise Him based on who He is and what He’s done. By teaching our children to both fear God and praise Him, we simultaneously fulfill the commands to tell the coming generations the glorious deeds of the Lord as well as The Great Commission to go and make disciples of all nations. 

Deuteronomy 4: 9-10 → Make [the things you have seen] known to your children and your children's children— how on the day that you stood before the Lord your God at Horeb, the Lord said to me, ‘Gather the people to me, that I may let them hear my words, so that they may learn to fear me all the days that they live on the earth, and that they may teach their children so.

Psalm 78:4-7 → We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might, and the wonders that he has done. He established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers to teach to their children, that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and arise and tell them to their children, so that they should set their hope in God and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments;...

Matthew 28:19-20 → Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. 

Being a Christ-like example to our children is a twofold responsibility, it includes both godly love and discipline. Those may seem like a paradox, especially when it is culturally popular to practice “gentle parenting” and give all the power to the child. But the bible is clear that children left to their own devices are foolish and shameful. Sin is inherent. It is our responsibility to train our children in the way of Christ’s wisdom, so that when they are older they may see His salvation for what it is and praise Him for it. Discipline takes many forms. I do not condone abuse in any way. When a rod is mentioned in Proverbs it can be used as a synonym for “spank”. Proverbs also only uses the word “strike” in the singular sense. Indicating a single application of physical pain rather than multiple, which would be considered beating your children. Physical punishments must be controlled and the child must understand why they are receiving the punishment. My husband and I spank our children only in the bathroom or bedroom. It offers privacy but also gives us a few moments to calm down so that the punishment is never given in anger. We explain why they are receiving the punishment, it is also almost always forewarned, and then we follow through. It is not enjoyable and it would certainly be easier not to do it at all. But then we would live in a mad house with no standards. 

Young children have not developed morally enough to know that hitting, screaming and disobedience is wrong. They are too selfish. But they understand pain. When the small dose of physical pain is associated with the undesirable action they performed they are much less likely to repeat the offense. There must be a reason for them to refrain from hitting, screaming and disobeying in the future, or else it will simply repeat itself. As they mature they will have the capacity to understand why we mustn’t hit and disobey, to know that everything we do has a reason and a consequence. At this stage the physical discipline can be phased out for logical conversations and more situation specific disciplines, such as cleaning up the mess or helping repair what was broken. Without discipline children will fail to honour Christ and will be unable to be filled with the fruits of the spirit. The following proverbs were written by king Solomon, known as the wisest man ever born and anointed by God Himself. 

Proverbs 22:6,15 → Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.

Proverbs 23:13 → Do not withhold discipline from a child, if you strike him with a rod, he will not die.

Proverbs 29:15 → The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.

On the flip side of the heavy topic of discipline is the joyful, life giving, love of Christ. It must also go hand in hand with discipline. Our children must know that in every situation there is a choice to be made. One will honour Christ and fulfill His purpose for us, and one will dishonour Christ and set us further apart from God. It is up to us to teach them why they need to choose to be selfless instead of selfish, giving instead of greedy and kind instead of rude. Then they can experience the grace of God and be drawn to Him as they honour Him. 

Verbal lessons and moral stories are valuable, but the best way to instill godliness into our children is to be a Christ-like example for them as often as we can. This will not only sanctify us but lead them to follow in our footsteps. They will believe what we say to be true based on our actions and do them themselves. Even if they don’t fully understand why, they know that I do my best not to yell at them and they must therefore refrain from fighting with each other. 

2 Timothy 3:14-15 → But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.

Proverbs 20:7 → The righteous who walks in his integrity— blessed are his children after him!

The topics of prayer, knowing God, and disciplining and raising our children in the way they ought to go are all large and demand more time than I’ve allotted in this article. But I hope that you can see and understand the call that God has put on our lives as mothers. It is no small task and we are bound to fail countlessly. Praise God for His mercy, as we are simply one of the tools God uses to work in our children’s lives. 

Philippians 2:13 → … for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.

Ephesians 3:20-21 → [God] is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.